The Fooles Troupe Routine

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Fooles: The Assassin Song

Last Updated: 30 Jun 2002 1502

[Bottel] Sticks and stones...

Song First Published in: September 1989.
Song Edited and Republished on: Tuesday, 21 January 1997
Routine First Published: Tuesday, 21 January 1997

[Serious Announcer] A hush doth fall on the Steps as sweet young Lady TangylWyt doth step forward. She hath been rehearsing long and hard for her chance center stage.
She be going to sing a new song to that well known tune of Scarborough Fair.
 
[Lady TangylWyt] I hath a story to tell thee all. It be a sad story; it be a happy story; it be a song of laughter and destruction; it be...
 
[Battel] Get on with it...
[Lady TangylWyt] It be my first time...
[Babbel] ...not from what I heard...
 
[Lady TangylWyt] It be a dark and stormy night...
[Bottel] Here we go again...
[Lady TangylWyt] ...deep within the bowels of the castle set high on the rocky hill. In the light from a flickering candle...
[Battel] Just get on with it...
 
[Lady TangylWyt] ...in deep distress doth stand a fair young maiden, greatly endowed with long blonde hair and many acres of land. She hath been most fouly jilted by an ungrateful lover. She turneth to a cloaked figure...
 
[Babbel] Verily, she be a magican!
[Quibbel] Nay, TO not INTO...
[Battel] PRAY get ON with it, PLEASE!!!
 
[Lady TangylWyt] She turneth to a cloaked figure, lurking deep in the shadows, and doth begin.
 
 

Assassin, assassin, please kill me a man,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
Kill him O please, as quick as thou can,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

Assassin, assassin, please buckets of blood,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
Better still yet, we may poison his food,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

Assassin, assassin, O please roast him slow,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
A small charcoal fire be the way to go,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

Assassin, assassin, till a small plot of ground,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
Plant the bastard somewhere he may never be found,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

Assassin, assassin, use a small rusty knife,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
Find a good way to shorten his ... life,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

Assassin, assassin, off a cliff see he falls,
 For he be a false lover of mine.
Better still yet, I shall cut off his ... elbows,
 But naught be too good for that foul rotten swine.

 
[Exit sweet young Lady TangylWyt]

[Bottel] Sticks and stones...

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