![[Bottel] Sticks and stones...](../img/castbar2.gif){kind=small}
| [Serious Stephen] (in his role as) (Serious Announcer) | In the flickering torchlight upon the Steps, a packed crowd is nervously waiting to hear what the newly arrived envoy from Prester John has to impart. |
| [Battel] | I call this meeting to order... |
| [Babbel] | ...cold chicken and three ales please! |
| [General FX] | (General laughter) |
| [Battel] | We have a special guest - Count Gelder, who hath journeyed far from his home in fean Abbey to speak with us. |
| [Count Gelder] | I come to you to seek aid for Prester John, who be besieged by hostile barbarians who refuse to acknowledge The Divine Right of Kings! |
| [Lady de Kupkake] | Shame! |
| [Count Gelder] | He be the greatest monarch under heaven, and it be his desire to visit the Holy Sepulchre with a great host, and subdue the enemies of the Cross. |
| [Lady Lucrativa] | Wonderful Man! |
| [Count Gelder] | Seventy-two kings, reigning over as many kingdoms, be his tributaries. His empire extendeth over the three Indies, including that Farther India, where lieth the body of St. Thomas, to the sun rising, and back again down the slope to the ruins of Babylon and the tower of Babel. |
| [Babbel] | What! My place? |
| [Count Gelder] | All the wild beasts and monstrous creatures commemorated in current legend be found in his dominions, as well as all the wild and eccentric races of men of whom strange stories be told, including those unclean nations whom Alexander the Great walled up among the mountains of the north and who will come forth at the latter day - and so be the Amazons and the Brahmans. His dominions contain the monstrous ants that dig gold... |
| [Quibbel] | Yes, but why doth he want ours then? |
| [Bottel] | So that you may all have the glory of participating in this great quest! |
| [Quibbel] | Yes, but... |
| [Count Gelder] | ...and the fish that do give the purple; his lands doth also produce all manner of precious stones and all the famous aromatics. Within them be found the Fountain of Youth, the pebbles which do give light, restore sight and render the possessor invisible; the Sea of Sand be there, stored with fish of wondrous savour, and the River of Stones be there also, besides a subterranean stream whose sands be of gems. His territory doth habitat the Worm called "salamander," which liveth in fire and which wroughts itself an incombustible envelope from which be manufactured robes for the presbyter, which be washed in flaming fire. |
| [Serious Stephen] | (quietly) A hush descendeth upon the Steps. |
| [Count Gelder] | In war 13 great crosses made of gold and jewels be carried in wagons before Prester John as his standards, and each be led by 10,000 knights and 100,000 footmen. There be no poor in his dominions, no thief or robber, no flatterer or miser, no dissensions... |
| [Bottel] | No Fools like here? |
| [Count Gelder] | ...no lies and no vices. His palace be built after the plan of that which St. Thomas erected for the Indian king Gondopharus. Before it be a marvellous mirror erected on a many-storied pedestal, in this speculum he can discern everythat goes on throughout his dominions, and even detect conspiracies. |
| [Quibbel] | Yes, but... |
| [Lady de Kupkake] | Truly wise and wonderful man! |
| [Count Gelder] | Prester John be served by 7 kings at a time, by 60 dukes and 365 counts... |
| [Babbel] | Count 'em! |
| [Bottel] | Daily! |
| [Count Gelder] | ...12 archbishops sit on his right hand, and 20 bishops on his left... |
| [Botttel] | Can't move for the clergy eh? |
| [Count Gelder] | ...besides the patriarch of St. Thomas's the protopope of the Samarcand, and the archprotopope of Samarcand where the royal residence be. |
| [Quibbel] | Yes, but... WHY, with all this power and splendour, doth he call himself merely "Prester"? |
| [Count Gelder] | This be because of his exceeding great humility! and because it be not good for one whose chamberlain be a bishop and king, and whose chief cook be an abbot and king, to be called by such titles as these. |
| [Serious Stephen] | And so, we leave the Steps, abuzz with excitement. Will the populace contribute to the great quest to assist Prester John? |
Fools Antics be scribbled by Robin the Ruthless in Battel
fean Abbey ... well, "S" sorta looks like an "f"...
"Mobius strippers never show you their back side."
Thou art Patron to this Performance
Return to the Virtual Fooles Troupe
or proceed to Robin's 
© 1994-2002: Robin Hayes