It is a truth universally acknowledged that
the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened, is
happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway.
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RUN NO
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HARE
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RUN AND
BUCKET
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1652
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Somebody?
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Raven
St Reserve Chermside West
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The Run
This was our first shared run with the gay men’s hash (now
we know why they call it that) for quite some time. To & From tried to stir up business by
offering booze $3, food $5 , booze, food
and a blow job for $10 but obviously the men had that option covered and so
weren’t about to fork out money. There were heaps of runners but not too many
spenders. The run weaved it’s way
through ever increasing dark and
threatening bushland with a steep hill in the middle. Pancho led the walkers and we were constantly
crossing paths with the runners. I’m
sure we only started out with about fifteen walkers but seemed to picked up the
spat out runners and thus ended up with about thirty walkers by the end. Fortunately we had a regroup on top of the
hill so any fat old bastards could regain their dignity and their breath. Eventually we staggered on home welcomed by
the pleasing sound of opening eskies and crackle of ice.
The Circle
Many news names were bandied about such as Mortein, Irish
Joke, Luftwaffe, Multiple Choice, Donkey etc. and much carry on was carried
on. In fact they made Northside Hash Men
seem comparatively gentlemanly! The most
notable thing about the circle was the return of the ice on which Cousin Its
butt sat for considerable time. Thank
God we harriettes were down wind. Radar
also had his five minutes of fame (I think it was for subcontracting out hash jobs – not sure) and Donkey who
apparently finally scored at the Balls
Up – this must be a rare event if it is worth mentioning. The ha ha ha ha evil laugh was a bit
disconcerting in the circle even for hash.
Down downs followed and then on to the food, fabulously prepared and
cooked by Goanna. Well done, we
appreciate it!
Reminder to future hares $90 the absolute limit for
reimbursement, must have receipts please.
Weakly Awards
No awards changed hands
this week! The list remains as was!
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Hash Award
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Hasher
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Hash Crime
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Hare
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Ned
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Setting Trail
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Big Prick
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Thunderbox
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AWOL
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Small Prick
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Ten Fingers
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Being Decrepit & Wearing a Hat in circle. Perhaps the down down was a prize for
making it to the end of the run.
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Dummy
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Abbo
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Its raining again -
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Grub shirt
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Squid
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Treating us all like Dummies
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Down Downs
& Charges
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McShit
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For not giving a shit about what Thirsty Thursday think!
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Cumming Events
Hash Lunch
Saturday 11 Sept – many committees meetings and wine & beer tastings should
result in a venue being chosen TBA
10th Anniversary
Chennai Hash-Kerala & Goa 29th Sept – 3rd Oct 2010 (mexvarma@sify.com)
Perth & Bali
Hash 9-13th September 2010
cost $140 + airfare and accommodation
2 OCT Oktober
Fest German Club at the Gabba
31st
October Golf Day
Halfway Hash
events 27Nov – Combined Christmas Party, Wed 1st Dec – memorial run
for Pommie Bastard, Cocktail Party 5 Feb0
Receding Hare Line
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DATE
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HARE
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RUN
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UBD
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6/9
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To & From
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Kids Space Murphy
Road
Chermside
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13/9
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McShit
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6th rdbt on left Queen Elizabeth Drive Eatons Hill
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20/9
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Simpleton
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TBA
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Hash Haberdash
Stickers now in, see Boxy.
Subs
We finance our great organisation as follows: Annual
fee of $50, then $10 per night covers everything.
Visitors pay $10 per night, but
after four visits are deemed to be regulars and are up for the annual fee (or
an icing each week until they pay!)
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband
that my breasts are too small.. Instead of characteristically telling me it's
not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper
and rub it between them for a few seconds.'
Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of
the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I asked.
They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies. I stopped.
'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every
day will make my breasts larger over the years?' Without missing a beat he
says, 'Worked for your ass, didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.
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-----two
great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied a sinking ship whose passengers had jumped overboard.
"Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son shark and they
swam to the ship.
"First we swim around the people in the water with just the tip of our
fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few more times with all of
our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked,
"Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around
and around them? "
His wise father replied,
"Because they taste better without the shit inside!"
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HASH
TRASH