Thursday, 1st September, 2005

Sing a song of wattle time.

First day of Spring. On the radio this morning, they were talking about Wattle. (Australia's National flower.) They said today is “Wattle Day.” Haven't heard that one before.

There was a Silver Wattle tree just inside the school gate when I was a kid. We used to pick small sprays of the golden flowers and pin them in our hair. There were a couple of poems about wattle in the school readers. “A silver bat and a golden ball, a little fairy made this call...” Can't remember the rest. Then there was “Sing a song of Wattle time, Sing of sweet September. Sunny days and scented nights, Pleasant to remember.”

Dad used to ask me, “Can you spell “Wattle Bark” in 3 letters?” The answer of course, was D.O.G.

Another one he teased me with was, “A man walked over a bridge and yet he walked. How did he do it?” I remember getting cross about that one (I was very young then) when he told me “Yetty” was his dog's name!

Wednesday 7th September, 2005

So much brighter

When I visit my elderly neighbour who lives behind me, I usually go through the gate in the fence that joins our back yards. Yesterday, however, when I called in with her bread and milk on my way back from the shops, I parked my car in her front driveway and went up her front steps.

“Are you coming in?” she asked.

“Just for a moment,” I said. “I'll see if I can fix your TV.” She had told me the picture wasn't bright enough. I soon worked out how to adjust it.

“You're so much brighter than me,” said my neighbor.

We chatted for a while, then I got up to go. I wondered why she went to the front door as I started to leave by the back way.

“Aren't you going out this way?” she asked. “Your car's out the front.”

“Oh, so it is!” I chuckled. “I was going to go home through the backyard. I would have got up in the morning, looked in my garage and said someone's stolen my car!”

“I'm glad you remembered,” I told her, as I went down her front steps. “You're much brighter than I am!”

“Well, we won't argue about it,” my neighbour said generously.

Friday 16th September, 2005

The people you bump into!

You never know who you'll bump into when you are out shopping. I was trying to get to the bank before it closed, and took a shortcut through the arcade. I can't remember why I wasn't looking where I was going as I came out – I was distracted by something up the street to my right, so I didn't see the woman bearing down on the left, also not watching where she was going.

If we had both been rushing with our heads forward we probably would have knocked each other out. Luckily, she was well upholstered, and the boobs acted as shock absorbers. As we made impact, we both instinctively flung out our arms and I found myself in a clinch with this woman I had never seen before.

“Are you sure you are alright?” she asked. I was laughing so much, I didn't even think to ask if she had been hurt. But I think I was standing on her foot.

I made it to the bank before it closed, but the rest of the people in the queue must have wondered why I was still chuckling to myself.

What's in the fish?

“Are we fishing today?” Mum asked as we completed our shopping. Neither of us believe in going home to prepare a meal after a shopping trip, so we pick up some fish & chips or chinese takeaway for our dinner.

I gave my order to the girl in the fish shop. “2 pieces of cod and $2 worth of chips.” She gave me a slip of paper with my number on it.

While I was waiting for my number to be called, I noticed someone had written in bold black letters on my slip, the words “I see dead people.”

“I hope it's not prophetic,” I said to Mum.

“You'd better ask what's in the fish!” she said.

The girl who had taken my order was busy with more customers, so I couldn't asked her what it meant.

When the man handed me the fish, I said, “I just have to ask about this cryptic message.” He looked at the slip and laughed, but didn't enlighten me.

I think it must be the name of a song or band or something.

Anyway, we enjoyed the fish, and we're still alive – not that I was worried, really!