Home | Newsletter | Jokes |
Toastmasters Speeches | Stories | Hotchpotch
MAMALADE
Newsletter
May
Monday 22nd May 2006
Harry
Our friend Harry fell and
broke his collarbone. He was in hospital for a couple of months. Now,
at 93, he can no longer look after himself, so they've put him into a
nursing home.
I went with a couple of
friends to visit him. It seems a nice home. I was impressed with the
staff. They all seemed so kind and caring.
When we arrived he was sound
asleep, strapped into a wheelchair with his head flopped over. The
nurse shook him awake and wheeled him out into the dining room so we
could all sit and talk to him. “Talk” is not quite the right word. He
didn't have his hearing aid – they said it was away being repaired. Not
that he hears much with it, anyway! I don't think he heard much of what
we said (or shouted.) And I don't know what he said. His
Parkinsons Disease makes him hard to understand at anytime, but he
didn't have his bottom teeth in!
I don't know if Harry enjoyed
our visit. I know I would hate being rudely wakened from a deep sleep
and then have to sit while 3 crazy women shouted at me. At least he
knows we cared enough to visit him, but next time I think I'll go when
they are having one of their concerts or sing-along mornings. It would
be much easier to just keep him company without trying to talk. And
I'll certainly ring ahead to let them know we are coming so he can have
his teeth in! Meanwhile, I think I'll write him a letter.
Mrs White did it.
Our Friendship Club met last
week - without Harry. We've always played Skipbo, because that's the
only game Harry could play. There were only 5 of us this time, and I
thought it would be a good opportunity to do something different.
So I introduced them to
Cluedo. I used to enjoy playing it with the kids many years ago. It
would be quick and easy to learn, I thought.
Wrong.
Maybe I didn't explain it
properly. It certainly didn't help, when after the first round, I
realised I hadn't put 3 cards in the murder envelope, and we had to
start all over again. You can't solve a murder that hasn't been
committed, can you?
The game dragged on and on.
No one seemed to know what they were doing. Finally, about an hour past
our usual finishing time, I knew Mrs White had done it with the
revolver – was it in the library? They all said they didn't have the
library. So I made a triumphant accusation. “Mrs White, with the
revolver, in the library!”
I looked at the cards in the
envelope. She'd done it in the lounge!
“Well, someone must have the
library,” I said.
“Oh, I've got the library,”
said someone. “Would it have made a difference if I'd said I had it?”
Next time, we're playing
Skipbo!
A complete set
The fruit shop down the road
sells the most delicious sweet pineapples, which are grown locally. The
other day I peeled and sliced one and took half of it to my elderly
neighbour who loves them as much as I do.
“I don't want the dish back,”
I told her. “Its just an odd one that someone brought for our jumble
sale.”
My neighbour looked at the
dish in astonishment. “That's the missing dish from my dinner set!” she
exclaimed. “I've been trying for years to get it replaced! Where did it
come from?”
I told her the name of the
woman who had given it to me. “She used to be my cleaning lady!” said
my neighbour.
We don't know if it was a
coincidence – it could have been from another set, or if my neighbour
had at sometime given her cleaning lady something to take home on a
dish and it hadn't been returned.
But it doesn't matter. She's
thrilled to have her dinner set complete again.
My roll in life
“I really don't know how they
would manage without me,” I said to my friend as we washed our hands.
“I had to change the toilet roll again. Every time I come in here I
arrive just as the toilet paper runs out. No matter where I go, I
arrive at the end of a toilet roll. I must have been put here on earth
just to change toilet rolls!”
There's usually quite a queue
waiting at the church toilet after the morning service, but this time
we were alone – or so I thought. But there must have been someone in
the other cubicle.
The following Sunday, when I
was in the toilet, I heard two women talking in the wash area on the
other side of the door. “It was so funny last week,” one of them said.
“Some woman was going on about how she always has to change the toilet
roll....”
I couldn't stay in there all
day, so I emerged sheepishly, careful not to say anything in case they
recognised my voice!
Top of page
Have you
visited the Hunger Site today? You can donate food to the hungry
and it cost's you nothing!
April 06 | June 06
Newsletter
Archives
Home | Newsletter | Jokes |
Toastmasters Speeches | Stories | Hotchpotch