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MAMALADE

Hotch Potch

Take Joy!
I salute you! There is nothing I can give you which you have not; but there is much, that, while I cannot give, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today. Take Heaven.
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present instant. Take Peace.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet, within our reach, is joy. Take Joy.
And so, at this Christmas time, I greet you, with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away.
Fra Giovanni

Love is the Key
Joy is love singing.
Peace is love resting.
Longsuffering is love enduring.
Kindness is love's touch.
Goodness is love's character.
Faithfulness is love's character.
Gentleness is love's self forgetfulness.
Self control is love holding the reins.
God is love.

If you are smart, you only believe half of what you hear.
You are downright brilliant if you know which half.
Keep smiling! It makes people wonder what you've been up to.

The devil tempts the busy man - but the idle man tempts the devil.

Learn from other's mistakes - life is not long enough for you to make them all yourself.

There is much suffering in the world - physical, material, mental.
The suffering of some can be blamed on the greed of others.
The material and physical suffering is suffering from hunger - from homelessness, from all kinds of disease.
But the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, having no one.
I have come more and more to realise that it is being unwanted that is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience.
Mother Teresa

I was asked why I did not give a rod with which to fish, in the hands of the poor, rather than give the fish itself as this makes them remain poor.
So I told them: The people whom we pick up are not able to stand with a rod. So today I will give them fish and when they are able to stand, then I shall send them to you and you can give them the rod.
That is your job. Let me do my work today.
Mother Teresa

Classroom Clangers

When a child grows up he is called a dolt.

Elocution has replaced hanging

Mortgage is where you go before they cremate you.

A weeping willow is a woman who lost her husband.

A widow is a wife without a man.

You can use a compass for bisexing angels.

The stomach is the home of the swallow.

Coal is hard and black. It is hard to believe it came from decayed vegetarians.

Pompeii was a city. It was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican.

The secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime.

A smile has immense face value

The more you leave things to chance, the less chance there is.

If you can't find the bright side, try brightening up the dark side.

Half the trouble in the world is found by looking for it.

Many argument is sound - just sound.

The only worse thing than giving up - is being afraid to begin.

Criticism is proof that you've done something wort attracting attention.

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.

To get joy you must give it; to keep it you must scatter it.

We see things not as they are, but as we are.

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.

Did you hear about the cannibal who returned for lunch at 2.30 P.M.and was told, "Too late, everyone's eaten!"

Two handy computer tips I've discovered:

Print Screen

Use the "Print Screen" key to capture a picture of your computer screen and place it on Windows clipboard:
1.Press "PrintScreen" key.
2.Go to Paint programme.
3.Press Control + V to paste.
4.Click "yes" to enlarge printing space if necessary.

The Spike

The spike acts like a clipboard.It is useful when drafting a speech or assignment.
1.Select text required.
2.Press Control + F3. this places the material on the spike.
3.Press Control + Shift + F3 to insert the material in your document when required.

Here's another tip - if the cat starts to throw up before you can open the door in the middle of the night, it's a good idea to turn on the light and assess the full extent of the damage before walking through it on your way back to bed.

Which one are you?
There are three kinds of intelligent person:
The first so intelligent that being called very intelligent must seem natural and obvious;
the second sufficiently intelligent to see that he is being flattered, not described;
the third so little intelligent that he will believe anything.
John Fowles

Trouble

Trouble has a trick of coming butt end first -
Viewed approaching, then you've seen it at it's worst.
Once surmounted, straight it wanes ever small
Then it tapers till there's nothing left at all.
So whene'er a difficulty may impend
Just remember you are facing the butt end,
And that looking back upon it, like as not
You will marvel at beholding - just a dot!
Anon

Risk it!

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for one another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self
To place your ideas, your dreams, before the crowd is to risk loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try at all is to risk failure
But risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The man, the woman, who risks nothing does nothing. Is nothing.

Author unknown.

Space Race...

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth.

The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.

The Earth
If the earth
Were only a few feet in
diameter, floating a few feet above
a field somewhere, people would come
from everywhere to marvel at it. People would
walk around it, marvelling at its big pools of water,
its little pools and the water flowing between the pools.
People would marvel at the bumps on it, and the holes
in it,and they would marvel at the very thin layer of gas
surrounding it and the water suspended in the gas. The
people would marvel at all the creatures walking around the
surface of the ball, and at the creatures in the water. The
people would declare it precious because it was the only
one, and they would protect it so that it would not be hurt.
The ball would be the greatest wonder known, and people
would come to behold it, to be healed, to gain knowledge,
to know beauty and to wonder how it could be.
People would love it, and defend it with their lives
because they would somehow know that their
lives, their own roundness, could be
nothing without it. If the earth
were only a few feet
in diameter.

Author unknown

Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day. Wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit.
Elbert Hubbard

History must repeat itself because we pay such little attention to it the first time.
Blackie Sherrod.

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.
Sandra Day O'Connor

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for us to amuse them.
Evelyn Waugh

The virtue of all achievements is victory over oneself. Those who know this can never know defeat.
A.J.Cronin

Be a fountain, not a drain.
Rex Hudler.

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen, and thinking what nobody has thought.
Albert Szent-Gyorgyi.

There is nothing more desirable than to be delivered from an affliction. Nothing more frightening than to be relieved of a crutch.
James Baldwin.

How to Wipe Out the Fear of Failure
Failure doesn't mean you're a failure
It means you haven't succeeded yet.
Failure doesn't mean you've accomplished nothing.
It means you've learned something.
Failure doesn't mean you are a fool
It means you have a lot of faith.
Failure doesn't mean you've been disgraced
It means you are willing to try.
Failure doesn't mean you don't have it
It means you must do it differently.
Failure doesn't mean you are inferior
It means you are not perfect.
Failure doesn't mean you wasted your life
It means you must try harder.
Failure doesn't mean you never made it
It means it will take longer.
Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you
It means He has a better idea.

Thoughts on Aging
Age is a quality of mind
If you have left your dreams behind
If hopes are cold,
If you no longer look ahead,
If your ambitious fires are dead -
Then you are old.

But if from life you take the best,
And if in life you keep the jest,
If love you hold,
No mater how the years go by,
No matter how the birthdays fly,
You are not old.
Anon

Have you ever wondered why it is when you open the door to a dark room, the light pours into it, but the darkness doesn't leak out? And if the darkness is displaced by light entering the room, where did the dark go?

Suppose you go out into the dark night and gather a handful of darkness. Try holding it in your cupped hands. If you can manage to seal it completely with your fingers, it will be completely dark.

But as soon as you bring it into the light and peep through your fingers to see if it is still there, it disappears! How does it leak out without leaving a dusky trail? Does it just evaporate?

Sometimes the presence of light can make the darkness denser. If you walk out through the night with a torch, the beam of light will cut a swathe through the darkness, pushing it back on either side so that it is compacted into a concentrated denseness. But as soon as you pass through it, it falls back into itself and envelopes the night once more.

Darkness doesn't like to be pushed aside. It looms menacingly at the edges of light, but if you enter it unarmed, it will enfold you gently - as long as you don't let the light leak into it.

Mamalade

Trivia

Insects usually have hearts on their backs.
A cockroach has an extra heart in it's head.
Mosquitoes can beat their wings more than 3000 times a second.
Midges can beat their wings more than 1000 times a second.
A flea can jump 100 times it's own height.
Dragonflies travel at 60 km. per hour. Eyes of dragonflies have 25000 facets.
Moths can smell a mate 15 km. down wind.
Crickets have ears in their knees.
A water beetle hears with it's chest.

I hear and I forget
I see and I remember
I do and I understand.

Chinese Proverb

Thought
What if you were kidnapped by aliens and there was no toilet on their spaceship? (They're not human, are they?)

Who am I wronging," asks the miser, "if I keep what is mine?"

But tell me, what are the things that belong to you? Where have you got them from?

You are like the man who, having got his own seat at the theatre, tries to prevent anyone else coming in and wants to enjoy by himself the play which everyone has a right to see. That is what riches are: they belong to all, but these people have taken possession of them and call themselves masters of them......

If everyone kept only what was needed for his daily wants and left what was over for those without, wealth and poverty would be done away with.....

The bread you are holding back belongs to the hungry, the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked.

You are oppressing as many people as you might help.

It is not your avarice I condemn, but your refusal to share.

St. Basil

Try to regard your state of mind as visits to places. Now I am in the angry place or the melancholy place or the misunderstood-by-everybody place. The point is, if you do this you don't identify yourself with these states of mind - they are not you. And it really works.
J.B.Priestly

A big cat saw a little cat chasing it's tail and asked, "Why are you chasing your tail so?"

Said the kitten, "I have learned that the best thing for a cat is happiness, and that happiness is my tail. Therefore, I am chasing it, and when I catch irt, I shall have happiness.

Said the old cat, "My son, I too have paid attention to the problems of the universe. I, too, have judged that happiness is my tail. But I have noticed that whenever I chase after it, it keeps running away from me, and when I go about my business, it just seems to come after me wherever I go.

"On Happiness" C.L.James

Food for thought
A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway.

This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?"

Her question was met with a few moments of silence. Then he quietly replied, "I haven't moved."

HOW YOUR CLICKS ARE FIGHTING HUNGER IN INDIA

India is home to the largest number of undernourished people in the world--more than 200 million people, 22 percent of the population, do not have enough to eat.

However, your daily clicks on The Hunger Site are helping the World Food Programme (WFP) purchase 440 tons of IndiaMix--a specially blended food designed to meet the special nutritional needs of India's hungry. WFP distributes IndiaMix to more than 2.6 million people across the country.

Currently, WFP is working to prevent malnutrition from striking children in Gujarat and Rajasthan where drought is threatening up to 60 million people. In addition to doubling rations for children, WFP is running food-for-work programs that provide a vital income supplement to families.

If we with earnest effort could succeed
To make our life one long connected prayer
As lives of some perhaps have been and are;
If , never leaving Thee, we had no need
Our wandering spirits back again to lead
Into Thy presence, but continue there,
Like angels standing on the highest stair
Of the sapphire throne, - this were to pray indeed.

But if distractions manifold prevail
And if in this we must confess we fail,
Grant us to keep at least a prompt desire,
Continual readiness for prayer and praise,
An altar heaped and waiting to take fire
With the least spark, and leap into a blaze.
Archbishop Trench

Pithy sayings

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humour.

You can't have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.

The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.

The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.

The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."

Random Thoughts

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Hope that it is not your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts?

Roman war chariots first made the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels and wagons. Since the chariots were made for, or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder which horse's rear came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war-horses.

And now, the twist to the story...
There's an interesting extension to the story about railroad gauges and horses' behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. Thiokol makes the SRBs at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses behinds.

So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined by the width of a Horse's ass!

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