Home |
Newsletter |
Jokes |
Toastmasters Speeches |
Stories |
Hotchpotch
After Dinner
Speech
Speech No. 5 in the
Toastmasters Advanced Manual "The Entertaining Speaker"
Manual
Date presented: October, 2005
The objectives of this
speech were:
- To prepare an entertaining after-dinner talk on a
specific theme.
- To deliver the talk extemporaneously, using the skills
developed in the preceding projects..
Time 8 to 10 minutes.
Remembering 30 Years.
(The audience was asked to imagine they
were members of the World Vision club and were attending a dinner to
celebrate the club's 30th anniversary.)
30 years! We made it! Who
would have guessed that our World Vision Club would continue this long!
Certainly not the caretaker of the hall where we used to hold our
meetings. Remember, he wouldn't let us book the hall more than a month
ahead, because he was so sure our club would fold up?
Well, here we are, still going strong, and celebrating our 30th
Anniversary!
Oh, we might have had a few
hiccups to begin with - our very first meeting, for example, when only
2 of us turned up. Still, it would have been more successful if we had
both turned up in the same place! Then there was another slight hitch
when our vice president, secretary, and treasurer all resigned in the
same month. But that wouldn't have been a problem if our membership at
the time had been more than four.
But pretty soon, our club began to double in size. In no time at all
the membership increased – to two! And soon there were four!
We began to hold more
ambitious functions. Some of you might remember that first concert
party when we booked a group of elderly entertainers. I'll never forget
the short sighted pianist in her huge floppy hat. She was never quite
ready to accompany the performers.
One singer walked onto the stage and called out, where's my
accompaniest?” A voice from back stage shouted, “She's gone to the
toilet. Start without her!” The poor soloist was halfway through her
song when the pianist rushed onstage and tried to catch up on the
piano.
Who remembers our Fun Fashion
Show, where we modelled second hand clothes? I tried to promote it the
week before at our jumble sale. I donned the most outrageous outfit I
could find. Pink frilly skirt, fuzzy wig, huge sunglasses, chunky
jewellery, green stockings, and football boots. I stood outside the
door ready to hand out flyers to people passing by. Unfortunately
everyone who saw me quickly crossed over to the other side of the
street, until someone hauled me back inside. “You're scaring away our
customers!” they said.
The Fun Fashion Show itself
was our most spectacular...... flop! We put on a really good show, but
we out-numbered our audience, who sat like a row of stunned mullets.
But they woke up when our model bride suddenly threw her bouqet into
the audience. It was an enormous cauliflower.
Then there was the day the
drought broke and our stall at the Carnival was washed out by
torrential rain. One of our members sheepishly confessed she had been
praying for rain. We told her sternly, “Next time you pray your rain,
be more specific about the date!”
We've had plenty of
successes, too. No one will forget the Children's Concerts, when we
invited school bands, choirs and dancing groupings to perform. The
bigger the group the better, because that meant more parents who would
buy a ticket to watch their little darlings perform. It really worked
too, though after a few years, the parents got wise and just dropped
their kids off at the door.
The Easter Bunny drives were
popular. Our fridge was filled with marshmallow bunnies as the orders
multiplied like – rabbits!
The Mock Wedding reception
was an hilarious occasion. Guests were asked to wear something
outlandish, and to bring a gift to be auctioned in aid of World Vision.
I remember the startled looks I received when I stopped on the way to
buy milk in my “Mother of the Bride” outfit.
Our club has always enjoyed
dressing up. There was our “Mad Hatters Tea Party,” - remember, someone
wore a chamber pot on her head, and another one sported a magnificent
cardboard model of the Sydney Opera House. And what about our “Bad
Taste Parties?” I laughed when someone arrived in baggy shorts, “Oh,
you look funny!” I said. “That really is bad taste!”
“Wait on!” She said indignantly, “But I haven't got into my costume
yet!”
Some of our activities have
become an institution. The jumble sales, for instance. Remember the
time almost 30 years ago, when our membership had dropped to one? The
hall was already booked, for a meeting, and I figured, if I was going
to be the only one there, I might as well make it worth while, so I
took cleaned out my wardrobe and took along a box of clothes to sell to
people passing by. That was the beginning of our jumble sales that have
continued twice a month for the past 30 years.
We also work on the street!
Our street stalls are almost as numerous as the jumble sales. Sometimes
they span the footpath in front of 3 shops!
Trivia Mornings are a
favourite. Sometimes the answers to the questions are debated, but
always in fun. Like the time we were asked, on what side of a cup is
the handle? The answer of course was, “The outside,” but some one
queried, “But what if you are left handed?”
We always look forward to the
Christmas Auction at the end of the year. Remember the time, the
auctioneer declared, “Going, going, gone!” and brought the hammer down
in the middle of the sponge cake she was auctioning! And the dear
little 90 year old who bid for a tennis raquet. When asked what she
wanted it for, she said, “To swat flies with, of course!”
We thought we were doing
well, didn't we, when we managed to raise $1000 by the end of our first
year. Well, now we raise that much in a month! Our average is $14000 a
year.
How encouraged and inspired
we felt, when one of our members came back from visiting some of the
World Vision overseas projects! She had witnessed the joy of Fistula
patients in Ethiopia, after life changing surgery, the hope in the eyes
of young girls in Thailand who were rescued from a life of prostition,
the security of street children in Cambodia who were given food,
shelter and education.
She was happy to report that
our efforts really are making a difference in the lives of these
people.
And we find that it makes a
positive difference to our own lives. I am so grateful for my World
Vision family. For each one of you here and for past members who are no
longer with us, but who have enriched our lives.
Thank you all for sharing
your hearts, your time and your talents. For your support and for your
friendship. I am looking forward to making more wonderful memories as
we continue with our vision of a better world.
COMMENTS
It was actually our World Vision Club's 28th Anniversary,
but I thought 30 sounded better for the purpose of the speech.
MAMALADE
Home |
Newsletter |
Jokes |
Toastmasters Speeches |
Stories |
Hotchpotch