Stories
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
"Damn!" The teacups on the table rattled in their saucers as Liz slammed down the morning mail.
"What's the matter?" Bob looked absently over the top of his newspaper.
"The Simpsons have sent us a Christmas Card."
"So?"
"We didn't send them one."
"Why not?" Bob tried to concentrate on the comic strip.
"I was waiting to see if they'd send us one. It's just like them to leave it till the last
minute."
Bob sighed and lowered his newspaper. "Well, don't waste one of the expensive cards. The Simpsons are
not very important. Did you send one to my boss?"
"Of course. I sent the one that said 'What happened when Santa got stuck in Mr. and Mrs. Ball's
chimney?'
"You what!!!" She had his complete attention now.
"I'm only joking, stupid! I sent that one to your brother Ted."
"Don't frighten me like that! Well, Ted should appreciate it. Has he sent his usual $10 for the kids?"
"Oh Bob, they were so disappointed. You know how Timmy and Donna shake each envelope o see if there's
money in it?"
"Yeah, cute."
Liz reached for a card on the sideboard. "He sent this."
Opening the card she read aloud, "A gift has been made on your behalf to help feed starving children in
Africa."
Bob shook his head disapprovingly. "That's a rotten thing to do to a kid."
"Yes, what's the use in sending it to Africa? They probably don't even know it's Christmas. Anyway,
they're used to going without."
"Have you ordered our turkey, Liz?"
"Yes, and a big ham."
"Good." Bob patted his ample stomach in anticipation. He eyed the cards on the sideboard. "Who is that
one from?"
"The one with the manger scene?" Liz picked it up. "It's from Auntie Lil." She read out, "Blessings at
Christmas."
"Huh! Trust her to bring religion into everything."
"Yes, she's nearly as bad as old Mrs. Scott over the road. I suppose we'll have to get her some little
thing. She always buys presents for the kids."
"That's alright. Mrs. Scott has no family to spend money on. But does she have to come over every
Christmas morning, Liz? Christmas is a family time. We shouldn't have to bother with the old biddies in
our street."
"Oh, she doesn't stay long, Bob - just to wish us a Merry Christmas, and the kids love to get a gift
from her, Anyway, don't want to offend her. She's useful sometimes when I need someone to baby-sit."
"I suppose so."
"After all, Christmas is a time for giving - and she does get a kick out of buying things for Timmy and
Donna."
"Mmm….I wonder if Mum bought those golf clubs I want. Did you get anything for your sister?"
"Don't be silly, Bob! We haven't been speaking all the year. I'm not a hypocrite!"
COMMENTS
This was an attempt at satire, based on comments I have heard in real life.
MAMALADE
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