Mentoring
Big Brother – or Sister
Don’t you just love it when someone asks you about something you
know!
People often ask me questions, but I don’t always know the answers.
Questions
like-
"Have you seen my car keys?" "What did you just come in the room
to
get? " Where were you last Monday?"
But I love it if they ask me about Toastmasters! And I felt
thrilled
and honoured recently when a new member asked me to be her mentor.
What is a mentor?
A MENTOR SERVES AS A ROLE MODEL, COACH, AND CONFIDANTE, OFFERING
KNOWLEDGE,
INSIGHT, PERSPECTIVE OR WISDOM
USEFUL TO THE MENTEE.
You’ll realise of course, that when my mentee chose me, she hadn’t
seen
me trying to chair a meeting!
But there is a lot I can help her with. It’s like being a big
sister.
Have you noticed if you have more than one child in your family,
the
younger ones seem to pick up things at an earlier age than the first
one
did? That’s because they
have the older one as a role model. My three younger sisters
learned
much more quickly than I did, but they wouldn’t have advanced nearly
as
far without me! Of
course, my parents didn’t always approve of the things I taught
them!
Well, in Toastmasters, a mentor is like a big brother or sister to
the
newer members.
We all know how daunting it can be; joining a club like
Toastmasters,
and watching the more experienced members perform their roles with
confidence
and skill.
We think we will never be able to do that!
But I can help my mentee…
LEARN THE PROGRAMME. Explain the speech requirements in the basic
manual.
What is expected when she is assigned certain roles at the meetings.
LEARN CLUB STANDARDS AND CUSTOMS. How things are done in
Toastmasters.
DEVELOP CONFIDENCE. Explain to her that she is among understanding
friends
– that we are all learning at our own individual level. Help her to
realise
that
Toastmasters is a safe friendly environment to practice her
communication
skills. Give her the knowledge she needs which will enable her to
PARTICIPATE MORE. Encourage her to become involved in Club
activities
so that she will receive optimum benefit.
Help her to QUICKLY LEARN SPEAKING SKILLS. By offering
encouragement
and assistance if required as she prepares her first speaking
assignments.
By
pointing out her strong points and offering constructive feedback
when
required.
Of course, my mentee is not the only one who will benefit from the
relationship.
I discovered years ago, that the best way to learn something is to
teach
it to someone else. While I am explaining things to my mentee,
I will be REFINING THE SKILLS I ALREADY HAVE. and LEARNING NEW
SKILLS.
And there are other rewards.
MENTORS…
LEARN FROM THEIR MENTEES. Mentees often offer new information and
perspectives.
REMAIN PRODUCTIVE. Mentors continue to make use of their own
knowledge
and skills.
DO SOMETHING FOR OTHERS. Its an opportunity to give back some of
the
benefits we have reaped from Toastmasters
RECEIVE RECOGNITION. Earn the respect of fellow members, and
gratitude
of the mentee. I know my mentee is grateful. When I helped her with
her
speech,
she brought me a chocolate bar.
The club as a whole benefits. Clubs that encourage members to
mentor
one another;
HAVE MORE MEMBERS. Turnover is reduced because members quickly
become
involved in the club and develop friendships.
HAVE MORE SATISFIED MEMBERS. Members continue to learn and grow and
enjoy the club experience.
RETAIN MORE MEMBERS. When members are satisfied, they stay in their
clubs longer.
A Mentor needs special qualities. You have to be
AVAILABLE. There’s no point in offering to become a Mentor if you
are
too busy to spend some time talking to your mentee and answering any
questions
they
might have. And don’t assume that your mentee doesn’t need help if
she doesn’t contact you. Many new toastmasters are too shy to ask.
You need PATIENCE, remembering that everyone advances at their own
rate.
And be prepared to explain things over again if necessary.
Be SENSITIVE to their needs. Use tact in encouraging and
motivating.
Never betray their confidences.
RESPECTFUL. You might not always agree with your mentees point of
view,
but you can respect your differences.
FLEXIBLE. Your mentee may not accept your advice and choose to do
things
her own way. Or she may turn to another Toastmaster for advice.
There’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s even advisable if your skills are
not strong in certain areas. For instance I would understand if my mentee
asked another Toastmaster for advice when she is chairman.
BE SUPPORTIVE OF THE CLUB. Show pride in your club and what it can
do
for members. It goes without saying that a mentor would never speak
disparagingly of the club or fellow members.
You need to have KNOWLEDGE about your club and the Toastmasters
programme.
Or at least know where to find out the necessary information. But for
goodness sake don’t try to impart all your information at once.
My son does that when I ask him about the computer - and
I feel more confused than ever!
You must be CONFIDENT yourself if you are to instill confidence in
your
mentee. Keep a positive outlook, but don’t be afraid to let your
mentee
see that you have
weaknesses too. We are all human!
You must be PREPARED TO LISTEN. Acting as a sounding board is
sometimes
all the help required. A friend once came to me with a problem.
After a while, she exclaimed, "That’s it! I knew you would be able to help
me!"
I hadn’t said a thing, but putting her problem into words had helped her to see
things clearly.
SHOW CONCERN for your mentee. You must really care and want to help
your mentee to grow.
Of course, if a mentor/ mentee relationship is to be successful,
mentees
have responsibilities and obligations as well.
Mentees should be…
EAGER TO LEARN. Mentees must be willing to take on new challenges.
RECEPTIVE. Mentees must be open to feedback, viewing it as an
opportunity
to improve themselves.
OPEN TO NEW IDEAS. Mentees should be able to see things from other
perspectives.
LOYAL. Mentees do not violate confidences or trust.
GRATEFUL. They don’t have to bring chocolate, but Mentees
appreciate
the help their mentors are giving.
Usually, by the time mentees have developed to the point where they
are functioning effectively on their own, the relationship has changed
from that of
mentor/mentee into a strong warm friendship. Mentors can find new
mentees
to help and former mentees now have the skills to become mentors
themselves.
And don’t think mentors are just for new members! There are bound
to
be members in our club who excel in some skill that you are lacking.
Why
not ask them for
advice? As I said at the beginning, people love to talk about what
they know. Or is there someone who could benefit from your knowledge
and
experience? Then
pass it on. That’s what Toastmasters is all about, isn’t it?
MAMALADE
Home |
Newsletter |
Jokes |
Toastmasters Speeches |
Stories |
Hotchpotch