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Cat got your tongue?

Working with Words

Speech No. 6 in the Toastmasters "Communication and Leadership" Manual

Date presented: 13 Feb, 1996
The objectives of this speech were:
  • To gain an understanding of the functions and uses of the spoken word
  • To select precisely the right words required
  • To communicate your ideas clearly, vividly and appropriately
  • To avoid common mistakes in word use
Time 5 to 7 minutes.


I'm Speechless

I hate to say this, but I feel like quitting Toastmasters. It's not that I don't enjoy the meetings - on the contrary, I look forward to them with eager anticipation. So why this sudden change of heart?

You'll find the reason on tonight's programme, where it has my name down for a Hot Spot* speech.

I'm not blaming anyone! I volunteered to give a speech. I had chosen a topic months ago and was looking forward to displaying my command over words. So when I finally sat down to set my thoughts on paper, I expected them to simply flow onto the page. But what happened? Nothing!

No problem, I thought. I've just chosen the wrong topic. I wrote a snappy introduction for an entirely different speech. And then, nothing!

I was becoming just a bit apprehensive, but I forged ahead and tried another topic. The blank page told exactly what was in my mind. I felt the goosebumps rise as the horrible realisation crept up on me and suddenly grabbed me. This was to be my sixth speech, but by some cruel quirk of nature I had been born with only five speeches in me.

What a fool I am! I should have guessed last meeting when I floundered at Table Topics. All this time I've been passing as normal among Toastmasters who progress through their 10 Manual speeches and earn their C.T.M. badge, then they go on to obtain A.T.M.s and D.T.M.s**

How long would it be before they discover I'm just a 5 Speech Toastmaster? Oh, the shame and embarrassment! What is a person like me doing in a Toastmasters Club?

Hold on, I thought, Maybe I could go on bluffing a little longer if I could squeeze out something - anything - that sounded like a speech.

I grabbed a fresh page. At the top I wrote the title of my speech. I underlined it. Then I drew a box around it. I decorated the edge with scallops. I filled in the "O" and the "D".

Underneath I wrote my shopping list.

My tabby cat jumped up and lay across the page. I tied my list to a piece of string and played with the cat.

The postman offered a reprieve. I took the latest "Reader's Digest" from the letterbox. Ah, surely I'd find inspiration there. Each article would have made a great speech. If only I had thought of it first. But what can you expect from a 5 speech toastmaster?

I spent the afternoon reading the Digest.

Next morning I looked at the crossword in the paper. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Crosswords stimulate the mind and improve the vocabulary. But this was evidently a trick crossword. The clues were easy enough but it didn't have the right number of squares for my solutions.

Now I was really worried. Not only had I used up all my speeches, I was also running out of words.

Frantically I reviewed my 5 speeches. If only I'd known, I could have spread them over a longer period. If I'd just used one a year I could have masqueraded as a Toastmaster for 5 years! And look at the topics I'd chosen. I had squandered my birthright on frivolous subjects. I should have made every word count.

It's not fair! Someone should have warned me. There's no mention of such a possibility in the "Communication and Leadership" manual.

I reread the manual right through. The basic outline of a speech sounds quite simple - for normal Toastmasters.

"Plan your opening" it says. Capture their attention and lead into the topic. Hmmmm.... I read on.

The body of the speech should have 3 points. But my mind is in such confusion, I don't know what the 3 points are!

I'll just have to confess that I'm a 5 speech Toastmaster. I thought I'd get your attention by saying I feel like quitting. Then I'd explain that the reason is because I've made this awful discovery. Next, I'd tell how I tried to get around it, and then I'd tell what I've decided.

I'll conclude by saying if you don't mind having a 5 speech toastmaster in the club, I won't quit just yet. At least not until I'm due to give the next speech!


*A Toastmaster in the Hot Spot has to fill in for someone who is unable to perform their allotted task that night.
**C.T.M. Competent Toastmaster. A.T.M. Able Toastmaster. D.T.M. Distinguished Toastmaster.

COMMENTS

This speech is not a good example of working with words. I had an acute case of writer's block. This feeble effort was just a better option than no speech at all.

MAMALADE


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